Pep Talk

Dear you, me, and everyone in between,

• No matter who’s tried selling it to you, we are not built to be perfect. 

• Brownies are so frickin’ good. Eat brownies sometimes. 

• You are worth the effort. Wanting a better life for you is a valid way to feel. Find what inspires you to do just that.

• Your trauma is not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility

• Shame is the enemy. There is no need to fear who you are, what you look like, or pursuing what makes you feel empowered. The sooner you show who you are on the inside, the sooner you learn, grow, and feel relief. 

• Life is risky. Life can be painful. Life can be the ultimate bliss. Feel it all. 

• Just because being angry or sad isn’t pretty doesn’t mean it’s not worth expressing. Just be aware of how you affect others. 

• Your pattern is not bigger than you. It is never too late to change the course, even if it’s scary.

• Life isn’t a battlefield. You don’t have to fight or protect all the time. Apologizing is not an admission of guilt, feelings are not weak, but sometimes we’re also guilty and no one else needs to carry the weight of our feelings. Put work into it. Grow toward better.

• Be awkward, out loud and in front of everyone. It is way more genuine to not know the right thing, to stumble over your words, to admit you don’t know what you’re doing. You build more meaningful relationships that way. You’ll laugh a lot more.

• Using exercise as a focus tool and a way to just shake off the fog works too. It has nothing to do with how you look or how people perceive how you spend your time. It doesn’t have to be kickboxing or Peloton or 30-60 minutes long to be worth it. Just go for a walk around the block sometimes.

• Joy fades but so does sadness. 

• Leave your phone on airplane mode sometimes. Leave it in another room while you eat. Leave it in your bag when you hang with friends. The world is bigger and more fulfilling than what’s on a screen. 

• Talk to your pets like they are people. They totally, definitely, probably understand you.

• Other people’s opinions of you are not gospel. You know you. Trust yourself. 

• When you feel like you’re going to explode, stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and take a deep breath. Time is a gift you’ve been given, so it would be rude not to use it, even for just a second. 

• You were not built to read minds. Don’t try to anticipate how other people will feel. Let them feel and decide if they want to talk it out with you. You cannot control how others feel. Respect their space and your energy.

• You cannot prepare for everything. Life happens. Hurt happens. Failure happens. Confrontation happens. You’ll make it through. Believe in your ability to learn, grow, and rebuild. 

• Pop music is so fun. It doesn’t all have to be that deep. Just jump around to Britney sometimes. 

• Your body is no one else’s business, but sometimes people will show you their insecurity through judgment. Your job is not to carry other people’s thoughts. Your body is beautiful in every shape and size. No one’s opinion changes that.

• Sometimes you just have to say that thing you want to believe over and over until you believe it. Just like your loved ones are worthy and kind and beautiful and important and wanted, so are you. This is faking it ‘til you make it. 

• Being wrong and making the wrong choice doesn’t make you “bad.” People are not just one way or the other. Don’t simplify the spectrum of the human condition. We have seasons and phases, we grow and we learn. Get back up again. Try again tomorrow. 

• Get in your car, bring your favorite little drink (or 3), scream and cry to a really dramatic song. We’re all taking a lot in, let it out when you can. 

                                             -Mary